After my surgery, I got a glimpse into the vast, hidden world of personal caregivers

Canadians want to age in their own homes rather than in an institution. GETTY IMAGES

By Susan Pinker

www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-after-my-surgery-i-got-a-glimpse-into-the-vast-hidden-world-of/

Two months ago, a section of my spine was fused. The neurosurgeon used a titanium cage filled with my own bone material, which he fixed in place with metal rods and the biggest screws he said he could find. The operation corrected a lumbar scoliosis – an S-shaped curve in my spine. The condition was so painful that I sometimes took a small dose of narcotics, prompting an orthopedist to wag his finger in my face. Of course, I knew about the addiction risk. My real worry was that I’d lose the ability to walk.

After trying all other options, my name was added to a long surgical waiting list, which gave me plenty of time to consider my postoperative infirmity. A few people suggested I arrange for some temporary help at home after my discharge from the hospital, and I had private insurance to cover some of the cost. After all, I wouldn’t be able to get in or out of bed by myself or get showered and dressed on my own. Eventually, I’d be much better off, but in the short term I’d be an invalid.

This is how I entered the vast, hidden world of paid personal caregivers. Unlike my family, they’d be paid to help me, but that doesn’t mean they’d get more visibility or recognition. The Canadian government calls them “personal support workers” and there are at least 350,000 of them in Canada. PSWs earn an average of $16 an hour (Manitoba) to $36.53 an hour (Nunavut), and there are never enough of them. The work is uncertain, blowing with the winds of government budget mandates and attitudes to the immigrants who usually do this type of work.

I live in Quebec, where despite ministerial promises to launch a functioning, provincewide home-care system for seniors by this December, the Legault government has slashed $1.5-billion from an already leaky health care system. The latest cuts will erode the patchy, hard-to-access home care that already exists, which will affect the most vulnerable adults in our society: frail seniors and the disabled.

For a short time, I was the latter; for a long time, my octogenarian mother was both. She was smart as a whip, but had heart failure and was not very mobile. In July, 2020, she started to fall in her apartment. First it was once a month, then once a week, then once a day. After one midafternoon call from her medical-alert service, my spouse and I drove over, picked her up from the floor and the three of us sat in her sunny living room, looking at each other in silence. What would happen now? My mother applied for a provincial home-care subsidy and was told to wait. In the meantime, the local CLSC, or community health centre, would send someone to help her get out of bed in the morning and start her day. Nothing else was offered.

Home care – even for an hour or two a day – is a superb idea, but how it is implemented is key. In my mother’s case, once the service started, a different person arrived at a different hour every day – as early as 7 a.m. and as late as 1 p.m. – to get her out of bed and help her wash, dress and prepare her breakfast. The breakfasts varied. One day it was mayonnaise on Wonder Bread. Some of these home workers were men; others could not communicate with her. No one asked her what she wanted.

This situation wasn’t working, so the family hired a PSW, which is called a PAB in Quebec, for préposé aux bénéficiares. My mother applied again for the provincial subsidies created to keep seniors at home and out of the chronic-care facilities that were proving so deadly at the time. We waited so long that by the time the service kicked in, my mother had died. Indeed, two years after her death in 2023, we are still receiving the monthly paperwork to fill in the caregivers’ names, hours, and social insurance numbers.

The point is not to knock government assistance programs, nor to defame the immigrants who tend to do this kind of work, as Donald Trump does. The point is the opposite: to draw attention to the explosive demand for personal home care. Between 1997 and 2022, the home-care work force had grown by 78 per cent, according to the Canadian College of Healthcare and Pharmaceutics, because like my mother, most Canadians want to age in their own homes rather than in an institution. Our aging population needs more immigrants who can assist them, not fewer. Programs to allow home-care workers to come into Canada and get permanent status have been ever shifting and hard to navigate. Yet the full-throated embrace of immigration has become muted, even in our famously multicultural country. In other words, what we say we want for ourselves and our families conflicts with our attitudes toward the immigrants who are trained and willing to provide that care.

Polls show that two-thirds of Canadians want to reduce immigration, according to Abacus. In the Walrus, Kamal Al-Solaylee writes that Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre will tap into our anxieties about the cost of living by attacking foreign workers and international students. This is already happening. Trump-style name-calling is clearly beneath Mr. Poilievre, but the anti-immigrant dog whistle comes across loud and clear: “We will stop the illegal arrival of false refugee claimants … We will end the abuse in the temporary foreign worker program, the international student program and the refugee program … We will screen people coming in to keep terrorists and criminals out,” he said in a news conference.

This xenophobic message may be a ruse to boost his popularity before an election. But such talk could erode our tolerance and empathy, not to mention the type of welcome offered to home-care providers like the fine women who helped me. Three of them were immigrants from the Philippines and are now either Canadian citizens or permanent residents. They had been reunited with their families after years of waiting, while working here alone and sending home essential financial support to their families. In Canada, they earn 10 times what they can make in the Philippines, one of them told me; they can house, feed and educate their families with what Canadians view as meagre pay.

Two of my helpers were East African refugee claimants who had been professionals in their home countries. One showed me photos of her son’s recent wedding, which she missed because she could not travel to her home country without risking her refugee claim. Another came to work a night shift dressed in a crisp white blouse, black flowered smock and elegant pearl earrings, despite the fact that she’d be sitting in the dark, unseen by anyone but me. None of them got a voice in this article because the home-care agency that employs them refused to put us in touch, thus increasing their invisibility.

For two days and three nights, I relied on my caregivers to help me get in and out of bed, shower, put on my socks and shoes, and prepare simple meals. This sudden vulnerability gave me more insight into my mother’s hotheadedness during her last few years. Fiercely independent, she felt that her adult kids’ decision to employ a caregiver interfered with her privacy and self-determination. Suddenly I viscerally understood her desire to feel like her old self. Plus, the caregiver providing the support must walk a fine line, acting as protector, confidante, ally and employee, all at once. It can’t be easy.

In my case, I bonded with one of the five women. Without being asked, the caregiver guided me firmly by my elbow at night; I could walk but was unsteady on my feet. She told me stories about the incredible demands she faced as a young nanny in Oman, where she had no chance of obtaining permanent residency or citizenship. Canada is different – or at least it’s supposed to be.

Our society likes to turn away from the realities of aging and infirmity, while paying lip-service to independence, home care, and home palliative care. It’s time to lift off the veneer. Fifty years ago, women were at home 24/7 to care for the aged and infirm. Now most can no longer provide round-the-clock care to their aging parents because they are working or are old enough to be senior citizens themselves. Their adult children are on a brutal treadmill of work and child-care demands.

There is no shame – indeed there’s a necessity – to keep our doors open to people who are trained and ready to do care work. One of my mother’s caregivers, Marivic Aujero, was told when she applied to work here that it would take two years to bring her daughter and husband over, but due to changing rules, it ended up being five years. Another of my mother’s early caregivers had work in Quebec, with several seniors depending on her care – but then was told she had to leave Quebec and apply for immigration status from outside the province.

Trained caregivers deserve more professionalism than this, especially when they look after us when we can’t look after ourselves. “Back home, we’re used to looking after our elders,” Ms. Aujero told me. “Some like the physical aspect but I like to communicate. It’s important for me to make that connection, so people feel normal.”

Can you experience PTSD from watching war from afar?

People search through buildings destroyed by Israeli air strikes in the southern Gaza Strip in November, 2023.
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION THE GLOBE AND MAIL; BASED ON PHOTO BY AHMAD HASABALLAH/GETTY IMAGES

By Susan Pinker

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-can-you-experience-ptsd-from-watching-war-from-afar/

After working for over 20 years as a social-science journalist, I experienced a “first” last week. I interviewed an expert who was sitting in a bomb shelter. The concrete-reinforced room doubles as an office for Danny Horesh, a clinical psychologist and associate professor of psychology at Israel’s Bar-Ilan University, and head of the trauma and stress research lab there. I had contacted him to talk about the psychological after-effects of the attacks on Oct. 7, 2023. More specifically, can someone experience the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) by watching a war from afar?

Though more than 9,000 kilometres away, many Canadians feel deeply disturbed by what is happening in the Middle East. Still, in the Canadian context, PTSD might seem like hyperbole. It’s a clinical term that originated with the psychological distress of Vietnam veterans, many of whom returned from combat disoriented and damaged. PTSD has since been catapulted from a technical term defined in the 1980 edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) into common parlance. Post-traumatic stress, and even the word “trauma,” have become so pervasive that they now encompass an array of psychological challenges, from marital conflict to workplace bullying. As an indication of how extensively the concept has permeated popular culture, a 2014 tome about the physiological impact of chronic trauma, The Body Keeps the Score by Boston University psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, has been on The New York Times bestseller list for 262 weeks and has been translated into 38 languages.

Why PTSD feels so personally apt to so many people, especially those living in stable democracies whose exposure to violence is usually limited to what’s on their screens, is my question. When Israeli civilians, including entire families, were slaughtered or incinerated alive on Oct. 7, people all over the world were horrified. But diaspora Jews were also terrified. Children of Holocaust survivors felt as if their parents’ victimization was being revisited on their own families. Adults whose grandparents barely escaped the pogroms felt like history was repeating itself. The fear of being scapegoated again – often referred to as intergenerational trauma – has been evocatively described in these pages by Marsha Lederman. I heard some of my Jewish neighbours talking about removing their mezuzah – a small box nailed to a door frame containing passages from the Torah – so their houses could not be identified as places where Jews lived.

The degree to which average Canadians feel threatened is scary in itself. Indeed, some of these fears were borne out recently, when a Montreal synagogue and a Jewish non-profit were fire-bombed and two Montreal Jewish schools saw gunfire, one of them twice. At an anti-Israel demonstration at Concordia University, Jewish students were told to “go back to Poland, you … .” The person shouting the offensive epithet at students turned out to be a lecturer from a different Montreal university. Not exactly a role model.

The fear isn’t limited to Jews. My Greek Orthodox hairstylist kept her children home from school on Oct. 13, the day former Hamas chief Khaled Meshaal exhorted all Muslims “to put theory into practice” by annihilating Israel and practising international jihad. The panic, much of it disseminated by social media, was pervasive.

Similar emotional upheaval is happening among the Palestinian diaspora. A friend’s father, a Palestinian physician who has lived in Canada for over 50 years, becomes distressed each time there is violence in the Palestinian territories. “Be prepared for tears,” his adult son said, when I called to ask if I could talk to his father. Could the images of Israel’s invasion of Gaza after Hamas’s atrocities be triggering his father’s traumatic memories of being forced to leave his birthplace at gunpoint? The son readily agreed. “My dad was interested in talking to you at first but decided to decline,” the son texted, adding that the family didn’t want their names used. “He said he has a lot on his mind and is not interested in opening up old wounds.” My friend’s aunt, also a long-standing Canadian, felt “too sad and frightened” to talk to me. “It’s not a good time to be identified as Palestinian right now,” she said.

Does all of this fear, avoidance and rumination add up to PTSD?

The answer is a qualified yes. According to the latest edition of the DSM, the American Psychiatric Association’s diagnostic bible, the label post-traumatic stress disorder applies when a person experiences a traumatic event directly, or when that person has seen it or learned that it happened to a family member or a close friend. It requires being repeatedly exposed firsthand to aversive details of that event. And it matters if the distress impairs their daily life – the ability to concentrate, to have friends, to work. A PTSD diagnosis hinges on mood and cognitive disturbances resulting from re-experiencing the distressing event. Unless someone has firsthand experience of violence, the feelings elicited by seeing it on screen would not merit a diagnosis of PTSD.

According to these criteria, the typical Canadian wouldn’t qualify for a PTSD diagnosis, but most Israelis and Gazans would. “It’s not like 9/11,” when most people were observing the events from a distance, said Rivka Tuval-Mashiach, a psychology professor at Bar-Ilan University and the chief psychologist at NATAL, Israel’s trauma centre. She says almost everyone in Israel knows someone who was killed on Oct. 7. “Even living in Tel Aviv, I am exposed to constant missiles and sirens,” she said, adding that her own 21-year-old son is a soldier in a dangerous situation, with no way to communicate with her. I asked about how it feels to treat people for the kind of anxiety she is feeling herself. The term is “shared reality,” she answered. ”It’s about treating trauma, but also experiencing it yourself,” adding, “Nothing is the same when you see it from afar.”

Dr. Horesh doesn’t call the situation Israelis are facing post-traumatic stress, but peri-traumatic, meaning the damage is continuing, is all around them and no one knows when it will end. “This is a major mental-health crisis for the entire country,” he says. Every psychologist, psychiatrist and social worker he knew was engaged in tamping down the grief and uncertainty, as well as training volunteers to do the same.

To be sure, some Canadians can also feel traumatized during this horrific war. The violence in Israel and Gaza is triggering continuing fear and grief in Palestinian Canadians, such as my friend’s family. Even if they’ve lived in Canada for decades, the term PTSD would still apply. Holocaust survivors or their family members would also qualify.

There are individual differences, to be sure, and the resilience of some survivors is a hopeful sign. Zvi Solow, an 89-year-old Holocaust survivor, was living on Kibbutz Nirim near the Gaza border when the Hamas attack took place. The retired philosophy of science professor is now an internally displaced person living in temporary housing. I asked him what was most important to know. “I was almost killed with my partner, who is 90 years old, for no other crime than for being two kilometres from the border.” He saw what was happening from his safe room. “I saw them at 6:30 a.m. between our house and next door, running around with weapons. They kidnapped my neighbour Hannah and her adult son. I heard later that they killed her other son, who lived on the other side of the kibbutz.”

Prof. Solow was 7 when he first immigrated to Israel from Poland. “Most of my family had been exterminated. We came to Israel as stateless refugees.” How do you feel about having survived two calamities? I asked. Are you bitter? “No, I’m a rational person. This should never have happened. Our army messed up. I’m angry at whoever is responsible,” he told me calmly.

“But I have nothing against the people in Gaza. The attack was not them, but from Hamas. They don’t represent the Palestinians. Hamas is not just anti-Jewish and anti-Israel, they’re anti-modern. And I’m proud that I survived.”

Clearly, PTSD is not everyone’s experience of a traumatic event. Though Prof. Solow and I didn’t discuss his feelings at length, I was struck by how measured and balanced he sounded.

To be sure, there are a range of reactions to traumatic events. Some are immediate, others delayed, and yet other people cope by helping others or by viewing what’s happening through a rational lens. Dr. Horesh described the complexity of the crisis for psychologists as “a whole new animal, a gestalt that is more than the sum of its parts.”

For those of us who are observing the war in the Middle East and feeling stressed and worried, the situation may not qualify as PTSD, but it is certainly a normal, human reaction. The best way to cope, according to Dr. Horesh, is to connect with our loved ones and tap into social supports. “Loneliness and trauma are a toxic combination. Having a strong network, a strong community, is the best protective factor.”